Using EMDR to Heal Attachment Wounds

As EMDR therapists working with trauma, the concept of secure attachment quickly emerges as a cornerstone. Our understanding and emphasizing the importance of secure attachment in childhood can significantly impact our approach to supporting our clients on their journey to emotional well-being.

The Foundation of Trust:

Secure attachment lays the foundation for trust in relationships. Children who experience secure attachments with their primary caregivers learn to rely on them for comfort, safety, and emotional support. This trust becomes a fundamental building block for their future interactions and relationships.

Emotional Regulation:

A securely attached child develops a strong sense of self-regulation. When caregivers consistently respond to their emotional needs, children learn to manage their feelings and navigate the complexities of the emotional landscape. This emotional resilience becomes a valuable skill that extends into adolescence and adulthood.

Cognitive Development:

Secure attachment is not only about emotional bonds but also plays a pivotal role in cognitive development. When children feel secure, they are more likely to explore their environment, ask questions, and engage in activities that foster cognitive growth. The sense of safety provided by a secure attachment enables them to embrace challenges and learn from their experiences.

Social Competence:

Children who form secure attachments are more likely to develop strong social skills. The early experiences of feeling loved, understood, and supported create a positive template for future relationships. This, in turn, enhances their ability to connect with peers, form friendships, and navigate social complexities with confidence.

Impact on Mental Health:

The effects of secure attachment extend beyond childhood and into the realm of mental health. Research consistently demonstrates that individuals with secure attachments are less prone to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. The emotional security established in early years acts as a buffer against the stressors of life.

How Childhood Attachment Shows up in EMDR Sessions:

When a child does not have a secure attachment or there has been inconsistency with attachment to the primary caregivers we often see this show up in therapy with very foundational negative beliefs. We may hear negative beliefs such as:

• "I'm not safe"
• "I can't trust others"
• "My needs aren't important"

When we ask how long this has felt true, the response we often receive is

• "My whole life"
• "It's always been this way" 
• "Since I can remember"

This can often feel very tricky to address with EMDR because when we try to make a list of traumas that are connected to these negative beliefs either the list is very long or the client has a hard time identifying any specific events. 

Through taking what I like to call an "early developmental informed approach" to EMDR, we can begin to address these types of beliefs and attachment wounds. We can do this by:

• Focusing on the implicit memories that are stored with those beliefs that started very early on, often in the pre-verbal (before 3 years old) stages of development
• Using time periods as targets instead of the typical explicit event as an EMDR target
• Use imaginative repair interweaves to imagine the client's needs being met by that primary caretaker even if that didn't happen.

It is amazing how the brain accepts imaginative repair and the shifts to more adaptive networks will happen. As EMDR therapists, our awareness of the profound impact of secure attachment in childhood equips us to guide individuals toward a path of emotional resilience, healthy relationships, and overall well-being. By nurturing and helping to repair attachment traumas, we contribute to strengthening our client's foundational beliefs. 

Disclaimer - Please seek additional training and / or consultation to incorporate new approaches into your EMDR skillset.